Root Canal and Emotions

I am feeling very sorry for myself. This doesn’t happen so often, but when it does, it feels heavy and I feel weepy. I’m also having my menstrual cycle so my emotions are even more heightened. I’ve had a tooth issue that has been ongoing for the past two months or three months. It came on quickly with throbbing pain and the dentist referred me to a specialist, an Endodontist who specialises in root canals.

Root Canal Therapy, so it’s called, is a mini operation on the infected tooth to clear out bacteria that have made home in the root of the tooth. The bacteria gets there usually from a crack, or some other kind of breakage in the tooth. I know I’ve been a tooth grinder at night as long as I can remember, and have had mouth guards at various times of my life, and consistently over the past few years with Invisalign, and my assumption is that the wearing down eventually became too much and this happened. My oldest son has inherited this amazing trait and I can hear him occasionally all the way in my bedroom at night.

Anyhow, I watched some videos about what a root canal was because just the term “root canal” sent shivers up my spine about how horrible this archaic procedure must be, but the animated video made it seem pretty simple. So when I was in the Endodontist’s chair I wasn’t as afraid as I might have been if I hadn’t at least informed myself from YouTube. During the procedure I went into full meditation zone, deep in my imagination so that I could block out what was happening to my mouth. At the end, I was instructed to come back in a couple of weeks for the next part of it, which was all very fuzzy, but I knew I had an appointment.

Not two weeks goes by and my tooth is in agony again, throbbing worse than before, and over the phone they prescribe some antibiotics for me to take. I hardly ever take antibiotics, I try my best to do what I can to eat well, and for all the news I’ve heard about how antiobiotics not only reak havoc on the body, that they also become less effective on bacteria over time, needing stronger doses. This pain was not subsiding and I couldn’t see the endodontist still for a week, so I dutifully took them. Finally around day 5 it started to settle down. I had all kinds of side effects like feeling super dehydrated and my lips became more chapped than I can remember them being. My skin felt weird and I just felt out of it, however, the throbbing was gone from my tooth, but it was still sensitive.

The next visit I went in and he did the procedure again cleaning out with some kind of bleach smelling formula to kill the germs, then packed it so the tooth would have time to settle down before deciding what needed to happen next.

Unfortunately the next visit, my tooth was sensitive again, and he did the cleaning out, the bleach smelling routine, and said that if it didn’t work this time that the tooth will likely need to be extracted. I left this visit with such high hopes that this time it would work and the bacteria would all be gone, and I wouldn’t have to have a huge gap in my back teeth due to a missing tooth.

The appointment is tomorrow. I have had no sensitivity, no issues whatsoever with that tooth, and I was rejoiced that I get to keep my tooth! Until about three days ago, when I noticed that I could feel the heat from my tea one morning. Then I noticed that when I chewed a raw cashew, which is rather soft, that I could feel that tooth chewing. This morning I woke up with the throbbing tooth, again.

I was looking up last night about the connection between teeth and emotions from a research paper out of Italy and instantly I felt like I should have been able to prevent this. I know also instantly that should is faulty thinking, my counsellor had said this to me time and again when I did my sessions with her, but I will ignore that for one small moment.

Image taken from here

The research paper reads that the tooth in question relates to “Anxiety, Self-Punishment, Broken Power, Hatred, Low Self-Worth, Obsession”. To be certain 2020 has been the craziest year I’ve experienced thus far and I’ve had a wild life. It has felt like so much has happened to me with the bushfires and needed to self evacuate at the beginning of the year and being so uncertain if we were just going to burn up and lose everything. Then with the coronavirus and having to self isolate after returning from the United States when everything starting ramping up in late March, and having to sign a declaration that I would not leave my house or I’d be fined $13,000. Followed by the restrictions put into place to help flatten the curve. Followed by the biggest civil rights movement of my lifetime with Black Lives Matter and feeling like I can only do so much and absolutely flabbergasted that I still know racists and am related to some, even with the delicate conversations that ensued. Along with this I had aimed at starting an online business this year to help women create their lives on purpose, with purpose and intention, and all of that seemed to be derailed.

So I get the connection of “broken power” and “anxiety” to my tooth issue. It all makes me feel so mad, and mad is better than feeling sorry for myself. I have learned so many tools over the years about how to get back up, how to be resilient, how to change my mind, how to change my habits and behaviour.

In 2020 I’ve needed to use all of the tools I’ve learned to help myself.

I hadn’t realised that somehow in all of this I had slipped into a victim mentality of sorts which is clear to me when I typed out that I felt all of this was “happening to me”. I know that I have to flip this. I also know that it’s all of my past thoughts and actions that have led me to this exact moment. So I need to choose now, right this very moment, what I want to do instead moving forward.

There will be a lag time, and quite possibly a gap in my teeth for a while until I can get a replacement tooth, and I have to choose if I want something different.

So now comes the fun part, and it truly is fun. It’s the time to get super clear on what I want next. The clearer I am, the easier it will be for it to manifest into my life.

If you need help getting clarity on what your next chapter of your life will be, maybe I can help. Send me an email at