Last night my youngest child was sick, which meant there was a lot of up and downs and broken sleep for him and I. Somehow the rest of the family snoozed through it all. The benefit of the broken sleep is the ability to recall more dreams and then think further about them. Of course I have to reframe feeling so tired today and look for the good in it all, it’s a skill, a honed one, and sometimes I lapse, but eventually get back into my normal groove which mostly involves rose coloured glasses.
In the night I had this dream that when I woke up the takeaway was that I must feel good first, then things flow my way, not the other way around. In my very awake state I know how much my enviornment impacts how I feel, for instance on this grey and drizzly spring morning in Tasmania, with my sick little one snoozing on the couch, it feels like more of a cozy day, one that holds space for slower movements, rest, and reflection. A very different experience when we have those perfect and idyllic days when the sun is shining bright and there’s a lovely breeze coming from the ocean, that entices me to get up, get out, get moving. So I know that my environment definitely impacts me. The thing is that within that I have control, I have control of how I reframe, and how I look for the good, and seek out what feels better for me.
Recently we went to a 6 year old birthday party at the bowling alley. My youngest has only bowled once before and it was when he was 4, so he came into without any skills but he’s like me in that he is a joyous kid and one that has a lot of outward energy to share. In the first few rounds he walked up to the line, gave his ball a good throw with two hands and we watched it slowly make it to the end where it would take out two of the pins. He’d go again and sometimes it would follow the same path and not knock any over, but I still cheered him on for making the ball go all the way to the end, which looking at another lane nearby I saw that the balls can and do get stuck along the way.
Then something happened, I could feel his energy shift, it was slight, but it was enough for me to register. Nothing else had really changed, but he went up with a fun attitude about it, I instantly got my phone to record because his feeling transfered in me, and as the ball made its way down, it remained straight and with enough force to push down all ten pins – he bowled a strike! He was so excited, he jumped up and down and I caught it all to share with his brother and dad. The next time he got up, I got the feeling from him again, and sure enough, he bowled another strike, two strikes in a row!! It was incredible! He was so excited and happy.
I dreamt of the bowling birthday party and my youngest and his energy and realised in a very distinct way that this is how energy works. You feel good, hold things lightly, have fun, and that energy transfers to everything around you so you get that same experience reflected back at you.
So, whenever I’m feeling blue, or it feels like winter is just dragging on too long and I’m already so over the short dark days, then I need to remember to reach for a better feeling experience in that moment. That better feeling can be in the form of a thought or a reframe – a “how else can I look at this?” or a “how can this benefit me?” or “how can I have more fun in this moment?”. Or it can be by choosing more comfortable clothes with nicer fabric, or it can be dressing up and doing my hair and makeup. Perhaps it can be choosing to eat something I know my body will enjoy, or really savouring my cup of tea while it’s hot. Maybe it’s by taking out a moment for myself if I need that to read something I want to read versus what I think I should be reading. Or maybe it’s changing the music to something that feels more aligned or upbeat, or just switching it up. Maybe it’s writing this all down to get it out and letting that energy flow outward. Maybe it’s moving my body more by dancing in place with or without music, or by taking a quick walk or doing some quick squats. Maybe it’s reaching out to someone else and going for a coffee together or for a walk together.
The big key is to feel good first, then keep going and allow all the goodness to reflect and come back to you.
Thanks for reading.
Any typos are to make sure you’re paying attention.