Sometimes it takes a strong contrast in your life to realise what is actually the most important to you. How lucky to get that clarity, so use it to take action to create what you do want.

How to Deal with Toxic People 

If you’ve ever left a catch up feeling totally drained, or an interaction with a co-worker that left you feeling like you’ve just been sideswiped, or been friends with someone who never really has your back and only tries to bring you down? If so, you may have a toxic person in your life. They will drain your life energy and take up your time so you are left feeling empty. If you are feeling empty you won’t feel like you have your own energy for growth, and changing your life to be the way you truly want it. This person may only be toxic to you and it’s up to you to notice how you are feeling and take action.

Choose yourself first. Make a commitment to yourself that you will only keep people in your life that are worth your time and energy. Then start minimising and eliminating time you spend with the people who do not fill you up, or who do not hold the space of who you want to be. 

Mind your energy. You truly cannot change anyone other than yourself, and even then only true change comes about due to an internal shift or an external shift that helps support the internal shift. So as selfish as it sounds, you have to mind your own energyand time because those are your main currencies, and invest your time and energy into yourself and other people and places that support who you want to be and how you want to interact with the world. 

Disengage. If you still find yourself in a situation with a toxic person and you simply cannot get out of it for one reason or another, do your best to minimise the exchange of energy. Position yourself so you are not directly in front of them, look away, avoid eye contact even if that means looking just past them. Only text, and snooze them from your socials. Try to reduce the engagement of your senses as much as you can. Purposely make the interaction short. 

You may start to realise that it’s actually someone that you have been friends with for a long time, or it could be a co-worker that you used to love. It could even be someone who isn’t negative but still leaves you feeling drained. If you are close enough to them and you think they may respond well, you could address their behaviour and how it is having an impact on you. There is a possibility that they may not even realise they are being that way. If it’s someone that you are certain is just a spewing hateful person, don’t even give them a second thought, leave the situation. 

Sometimes it takes a strong contrast in your life experience to realise what is actually the most important to you. How lucky to get that clarity, so use it to take action to create what you do want.

Thank the situation. It may feel challenging in the moment, and it’s important to thank yourself for taking the action. You are choosing to value yourself and becoming more aware of what you want in your life. By letting go of what isn’t working in your life, you open yourself up to more of what does work for you. Being grateful for the experience helps you feel more empowered as you move forward.

Action Steps: 

  1. Acknowledge that your energy and well being is important
  2. Reduce and Eliminate Contact with the situation/person that feels toxic 
  3. Minimise the engagement of your attention, and senses if you have to still have to be in contact
  4. Be thankful for the situation and becoming more aware of what you do want in your life.

It’s the small steps that will create the biggest change. Set your standards high for the people you interact with and hold yourself to it. Life will only get better from there.